Saturday, 28 July 2007

The puddock speaks

Well, I've been doing this for a week or so and I find I am enjoying it - might even stick at it. So I thought it was time I told you a bit about myself.

I am an atheist. I am widowed. Those two features shape everything I do. I was an atheist before my husband died but now that I am alone, the stark reality of atheism has made it a real challenge to find a way forward - I know he hasn't gone to a better place; I know I'm never going to see him again; my life as I planned it is over. And yet, atheism is the very thing that drives me on. When you believe that when you die, there is no more - that's it, end of the puddock's story - you make damn sure that every day is worth living.

So this blog is not about being widowed, at least not all the time. What it is about is the search for meaning in one's life in a meaningless universe - I am, I suppose, an existentialist, even though I am not absolutely clear what it means to be one. If there is one writer who is inspiring me at the moment it is Albert Camus, and I'll be exploring what he wrote about our search for a meaningful life in the next few months...and then telling you all about it here!

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